Archive for ◊ October, 2009 ◊

Using an online dating personals service can be easy enough, as long as you have a basic idea of what you are doing and you know the most important precautionary steps that you should be taking. After all, when you are meeting someone online you need to remember that they have a sense of anonymity and so you really need to be careful with you are talking to and what sort of information you are giving out to them.

This doesn’ t mean that you have to be completely scared or worried when you use online dating personals for men or women, just make sure that you stay safe.

Getting Started

Before you can get started with any online dating personals service, you have to make sure that you are going to be signing up for the right one. Learn about the different online dating personals service options that are out there, and do a bit of research. You will see that there are a few in particular that are especially popular, such as Plenty of Fish and Match.com.

Now that you have a better idea of the different online dating personals service websites that are available, you are going to be able to make a better decision in terms of which is going to be right for you. For instance if you are a Christian you may want to stick with the Christian online dating sites where only Christians will be members.

Now that you have found the online dating personals service that you want to sign up for, you are going to have to get a membership. Some you are going to have to pay for, while others you can get for free. You are going to have to enter in some personal information, but just be careful with what you are giving out.

You don’ t want to give your address and of course no credit card numbers or other personal information, unless it is a trusted site and you have to pay for your membership.

Now you can get started meeting other singles, but you are going to have to use common sense. Realize that there are some people out there who are solely going on these dating sites for the purpose of conning people and so you need to watch out for this and be safe when you are using an online dating website of any sort.

Forty million Americans had visited an online dating site as of 2003. The number is certainly higher by now. The industry raked in over $500 million in 2005 alone. If online dating didn’t work, those sites wouldn’t continue to make money. Word would get around that they’re useless and revenues would drop off to near zero.

Yet, even in the face of new competition from MySpace and other social networking sites, online dating services continue to attract new members, and to retain the old ones. The reasons are not hard to understand.

The odds of finding a compatible dating partner in your hometown are slim. Even when the population is large, you have to know a lot of people, or visit a lot of bars, or carouse around a large number of social arenas to improve your odds. Who has time for that?

Internet dating services offer anonymity, safety and a wide reach. They also offer, in a way, a more narrow reach. They can use sophisticated matching algorithms to select potential partners. That kind of targeting helps increase your odds still further.

The sites themselves often have specialized areas or sub-sites that cater to an even more targeted audience. You can easily find a gay or lesbian site, a Christian site, a seniors site or an ethnic site. If you look a little harder, you could undoubtedly find a site that caters to individuals who enjoy eating apples while they play Nintendo on the first Saturday of the month. With short hair. Wearing glasses. While nude.

The point is, there’s something for every person out there, whether your tastes and interests are as common as TV reality shows or as esoteric as a Proust poetry contest.

But beyond all this, many people, whatever their tastes and interests are looking for fundamentally the same thing: someone. That special someone whom they can relate to, who understands their jokes and shares their values. At the same time, online dating sites make it easier to connect with that special someone when they may be nearby yet unknown or far away and hard to reach.

With extensive profiles, photos and videos, it’s possible to quickly sift through a large number of potential prospects. With matching software based on extensive psychological research, it’s possible to narrow that field to a manageable number. And you can do all that from the convenience and safety of your keyboard.

Add to that the many newly expanded options, such as using dating sites via your cell phone or PDA, and you’ve got a service that is just unbeatable.

Now all you have to do is join.

One special category of international or ethnic dating sites provides a unique service: mail order brides.

The concept is hardly new. In 19th century America it was common for men to write ‘back East’ to find a bride who would join them in ‘the territories’ as America expanded west across the North American continent. With most of the globe populated, and with the popularity of the Internet, the concept has evolved. But the same basic purpose is served: finding a bride from a distant land.

Motivations for seeking a bride in Russia, the Philippines or elsewhere vary. Certainly, the stereotype of the lonely, unattractive guy is still true. But ‘unattractive’ is somewhat subjective, and there are in fact thousands of individuals from all walks of life seeking a mail order bride.

In some cases, it’s the attraction of the exotic. In other cases, it’s the desire to have a wife who is more traditional in her outlook and values than many women in modern cities are today.

From the woman’s perspective the motives are equally varied. They may have a desire to have a better life than seems possible in the home country. Or, they may respond to a man who needs and wants them, who is willing to treat them as special in a way that those who live locally do not.

Many of these matches don’t work out, since the pair can have very unrealistic expectations. But a very large number do. Overcoming the many legal, financial and emotional hurdles that face any couple from different countries can often bring people tightly together. The same phenomenon that made many 19th century mail order wedding situations successful – shared struggle and the need to keep a commitment – plays a part in the modern counterpart.

Anyone considering using a mail order bride site or service should take some special actions, however. There are many rip-off sites out there who will take your money and lie about what’s being offered. But there are many legitimate ones as well, and they encourage members to have a realistic and informed view.

Research the immigration and other legal issues surrounding travel, marriage and domicile. Immigration authorities are always on the lookout for those couples who marry strictly as a business arrangement to bypass the laws.

Consider the financial aspects of the situation. Traveling to meet in person is the norm, and the man usually travels to the woman’s home country. That can be costly, especially since it may involve an extended stay in the foreign country of three months or more.

Separation may be required, during the engagement period or after marriage. That’s difficult under ideal circumstances, and requires a firm commitment and a realistic attitude. Patience and resolve are a must.

Cultural and language differences will place a strain on many mail order bride relationships. The idea that one ‘bought a wife’ may gnaw at both woman and man. Being willing to accept the facts, face them with courage and focus on the good will be a challenge.

But the rewards are many. Thanks to the Internet and Mail Order Bride sites and services, those who might never meet can find that special someone. Those very differences that make for big challenges can bring equally great rewards.